When You Feel Stuck

When you feel stuck, what can you do? that’s the topic we’re covering in this Tea on Tuesdays devotion. I also have a free printable for you!

Prefer to watch? Here’s the video:

When You Feel Stuck

What do you do when you feel stuck in what seems to be an impossible situation? I have been in that situation before, and this week, I came across an article that has a great teaching. I want to share it with you so you can get unstuck from a stuck position.

Read the full article HERE.

Many of you know that I have written and spoken about being in a difficult marriage. I can’t tell you how many times I thought the situation was impossible. I thought I was really up against a brick wall, once and for all. Yet every time that happened, God gave me something new to do. He inspired me to do something different. I think that my story matches what happens in this article.

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You might have heard me mention that the book Boundaries has changed my life more than any other book except the Bible. I read it first around 2007 or 2008. It has revolutionized my thinking and actions. The book helped me break free from relational bondage and built my identity in Christ. I’m very thankful for the book, and I’m an avid fan of Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, the co-authors of Boundaries. Each week I get emails from the Boundaries blog, and that’s where I found this article.

Dr. Cloud was doing a presentation in front of some business executives who felt stuck in difficult situations. He gave them a very practical solution that I think is actually helpful in any of our stuck situations. Whether you feel stuck in your family, workplace, church or any other context, you can use this teaching.

Admitting You Are Stuck

He said to get a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left side, list all the things that you cannot control. Small or big things – get them all out. The important thing is to write them all down – things you can’t control that are causing you problems or driving you crazy. Then think about everything in that column for about 10 minutes.

It’s important to admit to ourselves that we feel stuck, angry, sad or frustrated. When we admit to those feelings, our brain can process the information and close the loop. Then the thoughts won’t pop up again and again. Once you’re finished with that 10-minute session, you must stop ruminating.

What You Can Do When You Feel Stuck

Then, on the other column, write out the things you DO have control over. Tiny things count. Write them all down. You can spend as much time thinking about these things as you want. I want to suggest some things you can always put in that column. Things I did even in my difficult situations that made a difference in my peace level.

Take your thoughts captive.

When you are aware of what you’re thinking, you can address the problems before they turn into actions. The verse that can help us focus on our thoughts is 2 Cor. 10:5 NIV:

We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

When you have a thought that pops up from the No Control area, you take it captive – I have a word picture of this in my book, Transforming Your Thought Life. Then you say, “Is this thought obedient to Christ, or not?” If it’s not, you surrender it to him. You can say, “I’m giving this over to you, Lord. I don’t have control over it, but you have total control. Then you let it go. If you do that over and over again, this problem will shrink while your faith grows. This process of thinking about our thoughts is called metacognition.

Meditate on God’s Word.

You may want to memorize 2 Cor. 10:5 and say it out loud or make it into a prayer. You can say it when you feel stuck or when those no control thoughts start coming back. You can say, “Lord, I’m taking this thought captive. I know it’s not good, and I’m surrendering it over to you.” That’s how you make this verse into a simple prayer. There are many other verses that you can use for different thought life problems. I list those in my book, Transforming Your Thought Life. I encourage you to check it out so you can use those verses to fight back in times of temptation.

Keep praying.

Every day you can pray that God will help you overcome in your stuck area. Pray he will show you a new way to deal with. Ask him to show you a way out of temptation (1 Cor. 10:13). Ask God to show you a new path so you don’t feel stuck any more. These are things I did in my times of difficulty in my marriage.

Get godly counsel.

I strongly suggest you get outside counsel from godly people. I spent 5 years in Christian counseling, and I found my counselor through a referral from Focus on the Family – learn more HERE. That made a huge difference in helping me learn healthy actions to put into play. I also recommend having one or two trusted, godly friends to go to in prayer. Not for gossip or tearing down. But someone with whom we can be honest and invite their feedback. The Bible tells us about the wisdom of seeking counsel (Prov. 15:22). If you go to these people, who aren’t your family members, and they are all telling you the same thing, that’s probably affirmation of what God wants you to do. If it matches what your counselor and/or pastor is saying, it can be confirmation of God’s will for you in your situation.

Keep learning.

You can read lots of books and listen to many podcasts that focus on your spiritual growth. Not in an attempt to fix the other person, because that usually doesn’t work anyway. That’s in the No Control category. But we can work on ourselves. When I started reading the Boundaries book, I learned to let go of my codependency, people pleasing, passivity and other destructive behaviors. I had to do a lot of internal work to live a more fruitful life for God’s glory.

Be Christlike.

You can forgive and show kindness to people who are evil toward you. This makes your heart soft and compassionate toward them. I’ve written a post about this HERE. Continuing in Christlikeness will help you shine light into your stuck situation.

Free Printable for You

I hope these ideas help you if you feel stuck today. Here’s a free printable to help you write out what you can’t control and what you can control. Pray over it, and then fold over the No Control column (or rip it off). Spend as much time in the other column as you wish. Invite God into this journey, and he will empower you and strengthen you, just like he did for me.

When You Feel Stuck printable

Prayer Requests

Do you have a prayer request for me? I’d be honored to pray for you, and I hold your prayer requests in complete confidence. Send me your request HERE.

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When You Feel Stuck

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