What Do You Not Have Because You Do Not Ask?

What do you not have because you do not ask? That’s a question based on James 4:2 I want to discuss with you today.

What Do You Not Have Because You Do Not Ask?

Let’s go straight to the Scriptures to start this discussion:

Submit Yourselves to God

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

James 4:1-3 NIV, emphasis added

Let’s ponder the portion in bold first.

What are you not asking God to give you?

Maybe this is a physical thing that you want or need.
Maybe it’s healing.
A relationship to begin or be repaired.
Financial security.
Control over an out-of-control situation.

What you want could be any number of things, good or bad. They may be good things asked with the wrong motive. Or they may be things you only want for yourself without regard to God’s will.

A Deeper Look at Motive

If we look at the context of this scripture, James is talking to a group of people who are arguing. He points out that their desires are driving what they want. But their desires were self-serving. Since their desires were not met, they sinned in other ways like coveting, quarreling and fighting, even killing. They were motivated by their pleasures, not by following God’s will.

Perhaps this is why you and I too have not received what we wanted. Maybe our motives were wrong. I can think of a few examples:

wanting a thinner body to seek others’ approval
desiring more money due to lack of contentment with current blessings
longing for a relationship to fill an empty space only God can fill

The desires themselves aren’t wrong, but the motives are wrong in these examples.

Let’s continue looking at this passage:

You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:

“God opposes the proud
but shows favor to the humble.”

James 4:4-6 NIV

Sometimes, what we want is more about friendship with the world than deeper friendship with God. Sometimes God doesn’t give us what we want because we first need to be humbled. So what do we do next?

Sometimes God doesn't give us what we want because we first need to be humbled. So what do we do next? #prayer #askGod #spiritualgrowth Click To Tweet

Getting Your Heart Right With God

Again, let’s return to the passage:

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

James 4:7-10 NIV

The main point here is to be humbled before God. It’s putting God first, seeking purity and clean living. We must confess sinful attitudes and see how they make God sad, then feel sad over them ourselves. Once we humble ourselves, God will draw near and lift us up.

But what if you feel your heart is right with God, and you’re still not asking God for what you want?

Why We Stop Asking

This week, I’ve been brought to a realization that I have stopped asking God for some things because I’ve given up hope. I used to pray over those things, but it seemed like the prayers weren’t being answered, at least in my timing or understanding.

Let’s just be honest. It’s hard to keep praying and not receive what we want. It’s hard to keep putting the same requests before God, again and again, especially after we’ve done the hard work of humbling ourselves.

Yet even Jesus, the Son of God, had to do this. So why would it be different for us?

It's hard to keep praying and not receive what we want. Yet even Jesus, the Son of God, had to do this. #pray #prayer #askseekknock Click To Tweet

What Jesus Asked His Father

Let’s look at one of his prayers:

Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. On reaching the place, he said to them, “Pray that you will not fall into temptation.” He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”

Luke 22:39-42 NIV

Note that Jesus went out “as usual” to this place to pray, except this was the night before he was crucified. I wonder if it wasn’t the first time he had prayed this prayer, but the first time the disciples had been close enough to overhear it.

Look at what Jesus said: “yet not my will, but yours be done.” This seems to be the heart of his prayer: praying for God’s will to be accomplished. Praying that God’s desires would win out, not his own.

This part can be a model for us in our own prayers. We can lay our requests before God, asking him to filter out our impure motives and ungodly desires. We can ask anything we want, but then ultimately submit to God’s will in the matter, just like Jesus did.

What Jesus Told Us About Asking

Jesus didn’t tell us to stop asking. Instead, he said:

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

Matthew 7:7-8 NIV

He also tells us:

And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

John 14:13-14 NIV

Jesus wants us to keep asking, and to ask in his name. He wants us to delight ourselves in him, so he can give us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4).

I have found that if I keep asking after humbling myself, and even past the point of giving up, that’s when God aligns my heart desires with his will. The pushing through of persistent prayer refines me, helping me become more patient and trusting. This doesn’t happen with the first request, nor the tenth or even the hundredth, depending on the issue. I’m learning the asking is a process that makes me more like Jesus and somehow, in the hidden places, glorifies God as well.

We can ask anything we want, but then ultimately submit to God's will in the matter, just like Jesus did. #prayer #christianliving #spiritualgrowth Click To Tweet

What I Learned Today About Asking

Today I took a bold step and placed a prayer request before a group of Christian women friends. This is a prayer request I had stopped asking about because I had given up hope of change.

Something wonderful happened when I did this. The ladies surrounded me with affirmation and support. They prayed for God to lift me up. But they also prayed that the other person’s heart would change. They even prayed that someone else would approach the person and point out the need for change.

I felt so encouraged after sharing this prayer request that had been burdening me. The Holy Spirit was multiplying the efforts of our prayers as a group, more than I could do on my own. I learned that by taking this risk, I received more blessings and didn’t have to do all the work on my own.

Maybe you also need to take courage and ask others to pray over your request, especially if you have given up hope of change. This is a step I wish I had taken earlier, and I hope it inspires you too.

Filters for Your Prayers

Let’s talk about the filters you can use for your prayers, so you can be more motivated to ask God for what you want.

Ask God to purify your motives and point out any blind spots.
Humble yourself before God, confessing any known sins blocking your relationship with him.
Ask God to show you where you are trying to be a friend to the world rather than deepening your relationship with him.
Admit that you have stopped asking for some things because you have given up hope.
Pour out your honest requests, then say, “not my will, but yours be done.”
Offer up your prayer in Jesus’ name, trusting him to present it to the Father for you.
Be courageous and ask a few godly, trustworthy friends to pray over your prayer request.

I hope these filters for your prayers will help you grow in persistence, patience and hope.

7 filters for your prayers to be more aligned with God's will. #prayer #praywithoutceasing #prayerworks Click To Tweet

Prayer

Here’s a prayer to help you today.

Dear Jesus,

I praise you for modeling prayer for me.

You aligned your will with the Father, and that made all the difference.

I confess that I have not always prayed with the right motives.

Sometimes I have stopped praying altogether.

Forgive me for not fully trusting you.

Help me make a fresh start today.

Align my desires with your will so that you will receive glory.

Give me greater patience and persistence as you shape me to be more like you.

Grant me courage to involve other believers in my prayer journey.

I thank you in advance for the answers you will give in your perfect timing.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Prayer Requests

Do you have a prayer request for me? I’d be honored to pray for you, and I hold your prayer requests in complete confidence. Send me your request HERE.

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