A Simple Tool to Help You Love Others

Do you want to love others more, and receive more love from others? This simple tool is helping my family of five love each other more and receive more love from one another.

A Simple Tool to Help You Love Others

We can all learn to love others in a more God-pleasing way. To do this best, we need to understand each other well. Personality tests are wonderful tools to help us understand ourselves and others much better. Through personality test results, you can learn to love each other the way the Bible encourages us to do in this verse:

Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8 NLT

My family and I recently all took the same online personality test. This is a fun benefit of being a parent of older children, because they all are mature enough to take this test. It took each of us about 10 minutes to complete, then provided a wealth of information on our personality types.

There are many personality tests that can be helpful to learn how to love others better. I have enjoyed The Five Love Languages, which teaches you how to love others in languages that they understand best. I also gained much from reading The Road Back to You, which teaches you about the nine types on the Enneagram. Both of these books deserve a 5-star rating, and I highly recommend them to you.

But the test I have found most descriptive of me is known as the Myers-Briggs test, and you can take the 10-minute test for free at 16personalities.com.

How This Tool Helped My Family

For years, I’ve known that I’m an INFJ, the rarest type making up around one percent of the population. Oh, how I wish I had known this at a younger age, i.e. the awkward years of high school! Now, this knowledge helps me understand my gifts, strengths, desires, and limits. I’ve learned to embrace who I am because it’s exactly how God designed me (you can read Psalm 139 for great encouragement on how God created you!).

Each person in my family is a different type, and this will probably be true for your family as well. Both in the Sentinel category, my oldest son is a Logistician and my daughter is a Defender. My middle child, the sunniest personality in our family, is a Protagonist in the Diplomat category. I’m an Advocate, the most sensitive one in the group, no surprise to anyone.

Since EVERYONE loves to learn about themselves, all of my family members enjoyed taking this test. I think we all gained greater self-awareness through this exercise, and this information can help us understand how we need to be loved by one another.

My three children are currently selecting class schedules for next year, and their school district does a good job of helping them get on a career track. This personality test was exceptionally timely in helping them understand how they are hardwired for success in certain fields as compared to others. I am in fields that fit my wiring. This knowledge sparked a great conversation with my children about choosing their paths for the future based on how God created them.

Each of us took a turn reading our strengths and weaknesses out loud. By sharing our results with each other, we all grew in understanding. We picked up on how each one needs to receive love in different ways, and how each one shows love best. It was a joyfully eye-opening experience for us, and I hope it is the same for you.

How This Tool Can Help You Love Others

You can love others more by discovering your loved ones’ personality types. Each one of the people in your family is uniquely created by God. Why not learn how they need to receive love, so you can give it to them in a way they understand best?

The way you receive love best may differ greatly from how your loved one needs to receive love. One of the most basic differences on the test is whether you are extroverted (E) or introverted (I). Extroverts primarily get their stimulation from others, and they need lots of people time. Introverts also enjoy people time, but in smaller doses with longer periods of alone time to recharge. Knowing this fact about your loved ones can truly help you respect their needs without so much misunderstanding.

By knowing your loved ones’ weaknesses, you can love each other even better. Let’s revisit our Bible verse:

Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8 NLT

When we know our loved ones’ proclivities toward specific sins, we can love them more intentionally. For example, I can be hypersensitive to criticism, which brings out the dark side of the J in my personality (judging). Since my family has learned this about me, they are more careful about their criticism to avoid triggering my judgment. Our deep love for each other can cover a multitude of sins, especially when we understand each other’s natural wiring.

How This Tool Can Help You Receive Love

By sharing your test results with others, you can receive more love. It’s a win-win for everyone. You can make it a family event this week, when the world is turning its attention toward love in honor of Valentine’s Day. Even if your children are grown, you can all take the test and share results with one another. You can receive more love when your loved ones understand how to show it to you best.

Let me assure you: It’s not selfish to disclose your need for love with your family.  God gives us the gift of family as a reflection of his love for us. He wants us to model the love between Father, Son and Holy Spirit in our family relationships. By expressing your unique wiring for love with your family, they can act on that knowledge to love you in more meaningful ways. Doesn’t that sound good to you?

If you decide to take this test with your family, pray that God will help you increase your love for one another through it.  Whether your family relationships are thriving or going through a rough patch, you can use the test to make your bonds stronger. It has worked surprisingly well in my family, and I pray it works the same in yours.

Prayer

Here’s a prayer to encourage you:

Heavenly Father,
Thank you for the gifts of personality and knowledge.
I praise you for creating me with such a unique design.
I also praise you for creating my family members in beautifully unique ways.
Give me understanding to love them in the ways they need most.
Grant me the courage to share my needs with them, so I can receive the love I need.
May a greater knowledge of our strengths and weaknesses enable us to deeply love each other.
May our love for one another cover a multitude of sins, and give you all the glory.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

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