Tag: ministry

Ministering to My Brothers

This is why I’m ministering to my brothers…my testimony for you.Though I grew up only with sisters, and did not date very much as a teen, I’ve always had male friends. So many times since my teen years, males of all ages have approached me to unburden their struggles. It’s been an honor to listen and guide them as the Lord spontaneously leads them to me. Here’s how it got started.

My First Ministry to My Brothers

Around the time pictured here in my life (1999), I started realizing I have a very unique ministry calling.

To graduate from Covenant College, I was required to complete a cross-cultural service experience. My heart had been drawn to Bosnia since the war in 1994, and I had signed up for an overseas mission trip. But the U.S. government shut down all non-military travel to Bosnia that year, so I had to make other plans closer to home.

That summer, I became a teacher’s aide at the local juvenile detention center. I was nervous about this, having no prior experience with this age group or culture. I had to pass through security each day to get in and out, which felt weird to me at age 21.

But soon enough, I got to know the young men in my classroom pretty well. Rather than being difficult and moody as I had expected, most were fun-loving, curious, talkative, and good-hearted. They came alive on Fridays when they were allowed to listen to music for good behavior (I always think of them when I hear Usher’s “You Make Me Wanna…” since they jammed to every word).

One special Friday, they asked me if I wanted a tour of their personal space. I agreed, and they delighted in showing me where they hung out and slept. They proudly showed off their belongings and their precious family photos.

I am glad I never knew what they did to get in there. Instead, I had the privilege of getting to know them as real people, flawed but beautiful.

They let their guard down around me since I offered friendship, and I sensed what an honor it was to have a door open into their lives.

More Ministry to My Brothers

Perseverance

It took a long time to understand that God had called me into a unique ministry. Time after time, too many times to count, I have been called to minister to males of all different ages. These times have always come unbidden, and it’s been an honor each time.

I have lost count of how many times this has happened. But here are just a few examples of the opportunities God has given me to spontaneously minister to men:

  • A pest spray tech told me about his night terrors related to childhood abuse.
  • An appraiser shared his grief about his mom’s passing and cried on my steps.
  • One man spent 45 minutes unloading all his burdens about his hopes to be a better husband, father, and provider while we waited in the hall for jury selection.
  • When I was a high school secretary, a very popular boy with a deep mother wound befriended me, visiting me for a few one-on-one moments every day.
  • I comforted and affirmed another high school senior after he had a wreck.
  • Another young man who I knew from that school met me in public years later and opened up about his extreme anxiety.
  • A bartender at a Nashville restaurant told me how heavy it was to carry the primary load of responsibility for his family while working with labor shortages and supply chain issues during and after the pandemic.

These situations happen over and over again, and it’s such a joy to serve when the Lord makes these opportunities happen.

Serving My Brothers as a Woman of Integrity

I wanted to be a woman of integrity in these interactions. So I frequently looked to Abigail’s example in 1 Samuel 25. These are the principles I have taken from her in my moments of ministry:

  • She was humble.
  • She did not use her beauty to manipulate David.
  • She affirmed David’s calling because she had done her homework.
  • She did not let her own unmet needs (being married to a fool) get in the way of her ministry.

I also have learned to make good eye contact, listen well, ask thoughtful questions, and gently point them toward a more hopeful future.Sometimes I get to share about faith, but I always share about what God has done for me rather than preaching to them.

It is a joy to do this whenever God calls me to it, and I never know when it will happen. I feel as if it’s a reward for my pursuit of spiritual maturity because I don’t feel like I could have done this as well when my faith wasn’t as tested.
I have also taken measures to guard my heart and stay as anonymous as possible (like paying in cash) because I want the man to get the blessing and God to get the glory rather than me to have an ongoing connection (unless God directs otherwise).
In a handful of conversations with other brothers and sisters in Christ, they have agreed that this type of ministry is necessary but needs to be handled with great care and wisdom. When it is done well, it can make a lasting impact. I know it has made a powerful impact on me.

How I’m Ministering to My Brothers Now

Though my primary writing and speaking ministry is to women, I wrote Hidden Manna on a Country Road for men too, because I know from these experiences that they need encouragement in their faith. I’m hoping and praying that God will use my book to minister to both men and women, and that God will continue to give me one-on-one, spontaneous ministry opportunities as he sees fit.

Since my recent YouTube video went viral, I discovered that 72 percent of my viewers on YouTube are males ages 30 and up. So I will be making more videos each week to serve the needs of my brothers. You can see my first video in this series HERE.

What thoughts does this post stir up in you? God has been nudging me to share it, and I know it’s because certain people need to hear it and think about how it applies to them. I’d love to hear your feedback in the comments below. You can also send me a prayer request or feedback HERE.

Giving Opportunity

If you have found this post or any other resource of mine to be helpful, I’d appreciate your gift of any amount to help fund our family dog’s second surgery this fall:

As a thank-you for your gift of any amount, I’m emailing this hand-drawn printable to every donor. You will receive both the black-and-white and color versions. These flowers are in the meadow in my front yard, and I enjoyed drawing them just for you!

 

Thank you in advance for your help in this challenging time for me and my teens.

If you liked this post, I would appreciate your shares on social media!

If you make a purchase from any of the links on this post, I receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support!


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Summer 2020 Christian Non-Fiction Book Picks

Summer 2020 Christian Non-Fiction Book Picks

These are my summer 2020 Christian non-fiction book picks. They are great picks for men and women who want to grow in faith. I’d love for you to tell me which ones sound best to you in the comments below. Books on prayer, women’s ministry, choosing joy and peace, navigating middle age, wrestling with life issues, and learning from King David’s life.

Continue reading Summer 2020 Christian Non-Fiction Book Picks

Reforming the Spheres

A range of emotions swept over me as I watched the video clips before the sermon.  Shock, since I don’t meet face-to-face with such secular worldviews in my job at a Christian school.  A mix of fear and overwhelm and doubt, since I try so hard to prepare my children to be lights in this dark world, but will my work be enough?

Then I felt thankful, realizing God has given me faith since early childhood.  If it wasn’t for His claim on my life, I could easily have the same vague, inaccurate picture of Him and His Word like the people on the video.  Finally I felt compassion, remembering that Jesus wants me to care for and reach out to those people who don’t yet know him.

Dangers of Relativism

In my two years at a Christian college, I learned that relativism is one of the greatest challenges believers face in a post-Christian culture.  Relativism is the lack of belief in ultimate truth; anyone can create their own definition of what is true.  One woman in the video said, “I pray every day, but spiritually I do my own thing.” A man said he finds spiritual answers in science.  Another man said perhaps there is a “spiritual force” that rules the universe, but we cannot understand it.

These views stand in stark contrast to the Christian worldview of one God in three persons who we can know through his Word, which is holy, without error, and inspired by the Holy Spirit.  I am excited about this sermon series, because studying the Bible’s themes will strengthen our worldview as believers and help us discern between falsehood and truth.

Reforming Spheres of Influence

Another truth I remember from college is that we can reform our spheres of influence.  Our extended family is a sphere, our workplace is a sphere, the gym, the coffee shop, and so on.  If we see these spheres as our personal mission fields and pray for God’s guidance, we will develop compassion and notice opportunities to fan a spark of faith.

I don’t want to live with a spirit of fear or judgment toward unbelievers; I want to see them as thirsty people who need the living water of Jesus.  When I study the Bible regularly, I become more aware of opportunities and I am less fearful and judgmental.  When I fall off track, my awareness plummets and my fear and judgment rise.  I am looking forward to regularly studying the Bible in the coming weeks and seeing what opportunities God presents in my spheres.

Which people in your spheres need your influence this week?

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4 Takeaways from Everyday Missions

Recently I entered my third year as a secretary at a Christian high school.  I have learned much about teenagers in my time there—mainly that I cannot communicate in the same way with them as I do with my own younger children.  What I’ve learned about teens also helps me in my interactions with the unchurched or unbelieving.  Here are four of my takeaways.

  1. Begin with prayer.

On the drive to school in the morning, I pray that God will open my eyes to the needs of the students.  I pray the Holy Spirit will give me his words, not my own, when I have the privilege of meeting those student needs.  Praying beforehand prepares me for opportunities throughout the day; I am not as tongue-tied or apprehensive when I pray in advance.  I pray in the same way before attending a gathering where unbelieving or unchurched people will be present.

  1. Look for in-roads.

Teenagers are typically guarded in their initial responses.  They are easily embarrassed and go to great lengths not to look foolish.  They can be difficult to get to know, unless you look for an in-road.  I look for a common interest as a talking point, whether it’s the St. Louis Cardinals or Vera Bradley purses.  Genuine compliments are always appreciated, even if they momentarily embarrass a teen.  Compliments and common interests are ways I open conversations with people who may feel threatened by my faith, and this approach is often well-received.

  1. Care enough to develop relationship.

Like people of all ages, teens love to talk about themselves.  When I listen well, I pick up on the feelings behind the words, and I hear what’s important to them.  Listening is one of the best ways to earn trust, because people feel your care for them when you listen.  It also gives me opportunities to keep the conversation going in days ahead because I can ask follow-up questions.  Once I’ve taken the time to develop relationship, I earn the credentials to speak into a person’s life if God calls me to it.

  1. Be authentic.

In the fall of 2014, I presented my testimony in a chapel at Saxony.  Even in a crowd of 220 students and staff, you could have heard a pin drop as I spoke about the struggles of my teen years.  I believe God used my story that day because I was willing to be vulnerable with some of my deepest hurts.  Teens respect authenticity. The whole world desperately craves stories from Christians who are willing to be vulnerable.  The world doesn’t want or need any more saccharin versions of what faith “should” look like.  Pastor Mark says, “Tell your own story—no one can argue with it.”  I practice that as often as I am able, especially in a non-Christian setting.

What ways will you use to reach the unchurched or unbelieving in your everyday life?

 

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