This is why I’m ministering to my brothers…my testimony for you.Though I grew up only with sisters, and did not date very much as a teen, I’ve always had male friends. So many times since my teen years, males of all ages have approached me to unburden their struggles. It’s been an honor to listen and guide them as the Lord spontaneously leads them to me. Here’s how it got started.
My First Ministry to My Brothers
Around the time pictured here in my life (1999), I started realizing I have a very unique ministry calling.
To graduate from Covenant College, I was required to complete a cross-cultural service experience. My heart had been drawn to Bosnia since the war in 1994, and I had signed up for an overseas mission trip. But the U.S. government shut down all non-military travel to Bosnia that year, so I had to make other plans closer to home.
That summer, I became a teacher’s aide at the local juvenile detention center. I was nervous about this, having no prior experience with this age group or culture. I had to pass through security each day to get in and out, which felt weird to me at age 21.
But soon enough, I got to know the young men in my classroom pretty well. Rather than being difficult and moody as I had expected, most were fun-loving, curious, talkative, and good-hearted. They came alive on Fridays when they were allowed to listen to music for good behavior (I always think of them when I hear Usher’s “You Make Me Wanna…” since they jammed to every word).
One special Friday, they asked me if I wanted a tour of their personal space. I agreed, and they delighted in showing me where they hung out and slept. They proudly showed off their belongings and their precious family photos.
I am glad I never knew what they did to get in there. Instead, I had the privilege of getting to know them as real people, flawed but beautiful.
They let their guard down around me since I offered friendship, and I sensed what an honor it was to have a door open into their lives.
More Ministry to My Brothers
It took a long time to understand that God had called me into a unique ministry. Time after time, too many times to count, I have been called to minister to males of all different ages. These times have always come unbidden, and it’s been an honor each time.
I have lost count of how many times this has happened. But here are just a few examples of the opportunities God has given me to spontaneously minister to men:
- A pest spray tech told me about his night terrors related to childhood abuse.
- An appraiser shared his grief about his mom’s passing and cried on my steps.
- One man spent 45 minutes unloading all his burdens about his hopes to be a better husband, father, and provider while we waited in the hall for jury selection.
- When I was a high school secretary, a very popular boy with a deep mother wound befriended me, visiting me for a few one-on-one moments every day.
- I comforted and affirmed another high school senior after he had a wreck.
- Another young man who I knew from that school met me in public years later and opened up about his extreme anxiety.
- A bartender at a Nashville restaurant told me how heavy it was to carry the primary load of responsibility for his family while working with labor shortages and supply chain issues during and after the pandemic.
These situations happen over and over again, and it’s such a joy to serve when the Lord makes these opportunities happen.
Serving My Brothers as a Woman of Integrity
I wanted to be a woman of integrity in these interactions. So I frequently looked to Abigail’s example in 1 Samuel 25. These are the principles I have taken from her in my moments of ministry:
- She was humble.
- She did not use her beauty to manipulate David.
- She affirmed David’s calling because she had done her homework.
- She did not let her own unmet needs (being married to a fool) get in the way of her ministry.
I also have learned to make good eye contact, listen well, ask thoughtful questions, and gently point them toward a more hopeful future.Sometimes I get to share about faith, but I always share about what God has done for me rather than preaching to them.
How I’m Ministering to My Brothers Now
Though my primary writing and speaking ministry is to women, I wrote Hidden Manna on a Country Road for men too, because I know from these experiences that they need encouragement in their faith. I’m hoping and praying that God will use my book to minister to both men and women, and that God will continue to give me one-on-one, spontaneous ministry opportunities as he sees fit.
Since my recent YouTube video went viral, I discovered that 72 percent of my viewers on YouTube are males ages 30 and up. So I will be making more videos each week to serve the needs of my brothers. You can see my first video in this series HERE.
What thoughts does this post stir up in you? God has been nudging me to share it, and I know it’s because certain people need to hear it and think about how it applies to them. I’d love to hear your feedback in the comments below. You can also send me a prayer request or feedback HERE.
Giving Opportunity
If you have found this post or any other resource of mine to be helpful, I’d appreciate your gift of any amount to help fund our family dog’s second surgery this fall:
As a thank-you for your gift of any amount, I’m emailing this hand-drawn printable to every donor. You will receive both the black-and-white and color versions. These flowers are in the meadow in my front yard, and I enjoyed drawing them just for you!
Thank you in advance for your help in this challenging time for me and my teens.
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