If you’re starting the new year with depression, I’m there with you today. I want to offer you advice based on my many cycles of depression since childhood, and my fourth dark night of the soul in three years.
These are the things I’m doing today after taking time to reflect on everything that happened in 2024, which felt depressing for several reasons. I want to get to a better place, and I hope you do too.
If You’re Starting the New Year with Depression
Before you read this list, if you are experiencing any feelings of self-harm, please call or text 988 right now and get the help you need. You can also chat at https://chat.988lifeline.org/. Reaching out for help is an act of bravery and you deserve it, friend. I have been there more than once. I got out of that pit with outside help, and you can too.
Get counseling.
Counseling is a must, not an option. It helps you get outside of your head, which is essential for healing from depression. It may take a while for you to find a counselor who is a good fit for you, so don’t give up if a counseling session doesn’t click with you. If you are a Christian, you need to seek counseling from a Christian counselor. You can get a free, one-time counseling session and referral HERE.
Journal your thoughts.
Don’t hold anything back in your journal. It’s a safe place to record all your thoughts, whether they feel good or bad to write out. Even as a Christian, I hold nothing back in my journals, often cussing and complaining to the full hilt. Journals can be a good place to sort out your feelings, discover the sources of your pain, and reflect on the progress you are making day to day and month to month. This is the journal I’m using now – I like it because it’s beefy enough to hold six months of entries.
Just be.
You may be a high achiever like I am, who feels like you always have to be doing something or working on something. This season, I’m trying to just “be” rather than “do.” That means being present in the moment, getting more comfortable with the spiritual discipline of silence as described in this book, and taking one day at a time as I learned at every Al-Anon meeting I attended.
Try persevering over hoping.
In the excellent book The Night is Normal, Dr. Alicia Britt Chole says that perseverance is more useful and attainable than hope when you are going through dark nights of the soul. Hope has certainly felt too expensive for me in my recent seasons of depression. I am persevering now by practicing the rhythms that make me “me:”
- reading morning devotions – here is one I recommend
- engaging in daily exercise
- eating right for better serotonin uptake
- spending time in nature, even on grey days
- reading 100 books per year
- listening to Christian praise music
- giving myself time to think every day
- journaling 3-5 times per week
- worshiping in a corporate church service nearly every week
I know when these impossibly difficult seasons are over, I won’t regret keeping these rhythms. They connect my brain to my heart, which has been in retreat for the past few years. They also keep me connected to God even when I feel angry and sad toward him.
Give yourself room to grieve.
The best book I read in 2024 is called As Long As You Need, and it’s all about grief. Often grief is the underlying cause for depression. This book helped me realize how little I understood about grief, how much I need to make space for it, and why it may take longer than I ever wanted it to take. I’m leaning into grief by crying just about every day (that’s a sure sign of depression, FYI), pushing through the pain arc while the tears flow, and then arriving on the other side feeling just a little bit better. Again, discussing grief in cognitive behavioral therapy with your counselor can be very helpful.
Be authentic.
If you feel better by writing down three little things for which you are grateful each day, I recommend that because it’s scientifically proven to boost your mood. Right now it doesn’t feel authentic for me to practice gratitude. I am currently recovering from years of breadcrumbing from people who used me for their selfish purposes. So right now, gratitude isn’t cutting it. However, I am being authentic by practicing lament in my prayer life, and authenticity is the only thing that is really working for me.
Use light therapy.
Since I have seasonal affective disorder, which is triggered every fall with the time change, I have learned the importance of using light therapy on days when grey clouds hang low. Using my Happy Light for an hour or so each day greatly impacts my overall well-being. I also get outside any day the sun is out no matter how cold it might be, because sunlight makes an enormous difference in my mood.
Consider medication.
I have not taken medication for my depression, but you may need to do this, and that’s perfectly fine. Speak to your doctor about the right treatment for you. However, I recommend that you combine all the above treatments with medication for a holistic approach to your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual healing. In discussions with my counselor, I have realized my depression is more situationally based than chemically based, yet I also choose to address my serotonin uptake issues with alternative methods. This season, I’m also trying a new thing – St. John’s wort tea. I also have found much help through this daily supplement, which helps regulate my sleep and gastrointestinal health.
Connect with others.
Though I’m a true-blue introvert, in this season I feel much better around other people than I do when I’m alone with my depressing thoughts. Connecting with others face-to-face each day is probably the most impactful thing I’m doing right now to manage my depression. It’s another must-do step for your healing, not really an option. I have tips to help you reach out on this post.
Do some things just for you.
Depression can steal your joy, even in things you used to enjoy. However, I can escape from depressed feelings for a little while when I do things just for me. In my world, this looks like making art, watching Kansas City Chiefs games, giving myself a manicure, and birdwatching. Your list will probably look different from mine, yet I hope you can come up with at least one thing that you enjoy once per day for a moment of respite from the hard things you are facing.
Those are the best tips I have for you today. I pray that as you put them into practice, you’ll feel a bit stronger and more healed every day. Here are the best books I recommend to help you if you’re starting the new year with depression.
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