How to Forgive More Freely

How easy is it for you to forgive others? I must admit, it’s a real challenge for me.

I didn’t learn how to forgive well when I was growing up. My family struggled to let past hurts go. But as I’m working through past pain, I’m learning to make forgiveness a way of life.

Do you want to learn to be more forgiving?

This verse is a good starting place for our discussion today.

Lord, if you kept a record of our sins, who, O Lord, could survive?
But you offer forgiveness, that we may learn to fear you.
Psalm 130:3-4 NLT

Let’s look at why this verse helps us forgive ourselves and others.

Forgiving with Grace

We can offer forgiveness only because God first offered it to us.

Remember the story of the woman caught in adultery? (You can read it here.) Her accusers all held stones in their hands, ready to kill her for her sins according to Old Testament law.

But Jesus told them if anyone was without sin, they were free to throw the stones.

John records that the oldest in the group were the first to drop their stones and walk away. Presumably, that’s because those men had committed the greatest number of sins.

Maybe you’re like me—the older I get, the more compassionate I become. The more I see someone on a sideways path, the more often I say, “That could have been me too, if it wasn’t for God’s grace.”

Dropping Our Stones

We live in a politically and socially contentious time. I confess that too often I am quick to judge and slow to forgive.

But the first verse in today’s passage stops me in my tracks and helps me drop my stones.

Since I’m saved by Jesus’ blood, He isn’t keeping a ledger of sins I’ve committed so He can use them in judgment against me. If He hadn’t saved me, my ever-lengthening list of sins would condemn me to eternal punishment.

Thank God that when we accept His precious gift of grace, our sins are no longer held against us.

May we learn to quit holding others’ sins over them and release their obligation to us in forgiveness.

Fearing God and Forgiveness

The second verse says that God offers forgiveness so we may learn to fear Him. How is this possible?

I grew up in the Lutheran church, which teaches a solemn view of God’s holiness and majesty. As a child, entering the church building with its sky-high ceilings and giant cross over the altar made me feel even smaller, but not in a negative way. God was big and I was small, and I drew some comfort from that fact. I knew I was entering God’s house, and because He is the holy and awesome King of Kings, I needed to treat Him with utmost respect.

I’m thankful for my background, because it taught me to fear God. Fearing God is not being afraid of Him. It’s treating Him with reverence and respect. It’s realizing how holy He is and how sinful I am. Fearing God means entering His presence with honor and humility rather than pride, knowing that He has granted me the right to fellowship with Him. I haven’t earned it.

The more I think about God’s holiness, the more amazing His forgiveness of me becomes. I don’t deserve it at all! None of us do, but because Jesus loved us so much, we can receive forgiveness.

I remember Jesus’ parable of the man who owed an enormous debt, equivalent to millions of dollars. His creditor forgave him, but then the man beat up another person who owed him a few hundred bucks. He was punished for his lack of forgiveness.

So often, I forget how much God has forgiven me. If I want to become more like Jesus, I must forgive others and see their debts as small compared to the enormous debt I owe God.

Thank God that He offers forgiveness and wants a relationship with us! He doesn’t have to invite us in, because He is so mighty and amazing. But He wants us to enter a relationship through fearing Him in a healthy way.

Questions for you:

What is your “fear level” toward God? Does He feel far away or close to you? Do you need to consider His attributes to build up a sense of awe toward Him?

Who do you need to forgive the most? How will you commit it to prayer this week?

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