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How adept are you at handling drama at the holidays? Wouldn’t you love to have a drama-free holiday this year? Today we’ll discuss what you can do to reduce the drama on Heart in a Drawer, the podcast for adult children of divorce.
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Handling Drama at the Holidays
I can honestly say that since my parents divorced when I was 4 years old, I have not had a drama-free holiday since that time. Yet, I’ve succeeded in greatly reducing my contributions to the family drama. I did this with God’s help and the wisdom of several Christian authors and counselors. I’m happy to share this wisdom with you today.
The resource that has helped me most is Drama Free: Finding Peace When Emotions Overwhelm You by Cindi McMenamin. It’s the main resource I discuss in today’s podcast.
Show Notes: Handling Drama at the Holidays
3:30
Book quote – “The more Spirit-filled we are, the less drama-filled we will be.” Check out the fruits of the spirit HERE and in my book, The Fruitful Life.
4:00
Listen in: Episode 12 – Hurt or Offended at the Holidays
5:00
Some ways I intentionally seek out humor on this post – A Time for Crying and Laughing
5:49
Meditate on James 1:19 NIV – “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
6:56
Quote from me about handling drama at the holidays – “God is not asking me to defend myself; he is my defender. He can defend me; I don’t have to defend myself to others.”
7:01
Book quote – “A woman who is drama is one whose first love is herself and who gets easily offended by what others say or think about her. I want to be a woman who pays no regard to what others think of me because my identity and reputation is wrapped up and hidden in Christ.”
7:34
Colossians 3:1-3 NIV: “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.”
8:06
Ring Theory of Kvetching – Here’s an article with an illustration of this idea, plus some practical ideas for comforting the person at the center.
10:56
For an enlightening look at attachment styles and levels of emotional maturity, listen to Episode 4.
11:52
Book quote – “A mature woman lets God work in her heart by exposing her to any shred of truth in the accusation.”
12:11
Book quote – “I have found that when I am plagued by a situation that could cause drama, it is diffused when I take it to God and sit there in it with Him for a while. As I ask Him to help me see the situation more clearly, not only does He show me my part in it, but He also gives me wisdom to know how to respond next.”
13:01
Karla Downing’s book is packed with wisdom for difficult marriage, and also principles we can use to diffuse drama with family members.
13:40
Responses for handling drama at the holidays:
- No.
- Yes.
- Maybe.
- You could be right.
- I’ll think about that.
- Could be.
- Thank you.
- I hear you.
- I understand.
- That’s your opinion.
- I might.
- Possibly.
- Good point.
Memorize these responses so you’ll be prepared when drama hits you. Also, for more encouragement on detaching from drama, read my popular post, How to Deal With Unwanted Drama, HERE.
16:12
Boundaries – a book I recommend over and over! A must-read for all adult children of divorce.
17:15
Not sure if you are dealing with real or false guilt? Check out the Guilty Thoughts chapter in my book, Transforming Your Thought Life.
20:00
Advent study from Lifeway – check it out HERE.
21:06
How to be a peacemaker at Christmas in your extended family – read further HERE. Also, read about being a peacemaker in broken relationships HERE and with Scrooges and Grinches HERE.
23:15
Colossians 3:15 NIV – “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”
24:52
Leviticus 19:17 NLT – ““Do not nurse hatred in your heart for any of your relatives. Confront people directly so you will not be held guilty for their sin.”
26:10
See two books I recommend with practical advice about confrontation in the Episode 12 show notes.
27:25
Listen in – Episode 7: How to Fight Bitterness
31:10
For a deeper look into my testimony of setting boundaries with family at Christmas, read HERE, and you can also read this post, When You Need to Fight for Christmas Peace.
Free Printable: Handling Drama at the Holidays
You can download your free worksheet to help you meditate on James 3:18 and reflect on the lessons in this podcast HERE.
I have many more free printables for you in my Library, which you can access immediately as a subscriber to my weekly Tea on Tuesdays devotions. Sign up below in the Tea on Tuesdays box. I’ll provide free printables to you, made for especially for adult children of divorce.
Prayer Requests
Do you have a prayer request for me regarding holiday drama? I’d be honored to pray for you, and I hold your prayer requests in complete confidence. Send me your request HERE.
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Handling Drama at the Holidays
Watch Episode 13 on YouTube below.
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