I have known the death of the farm would come in my lifetime, but I didn’t know when it would happen. Now it is here.
The farm is only one mile north from my property. This is the place where six generations of my family have lived, ever since my great-great-grandparents migrated to southeast Missouri from Germany in the late-1800s. It is so very dear to me.
As I make space for grief in this season, I’m reflecting on the good memories about the farm, such as butchering day. Thankfully, my photographic memory and status as the oldest great-grandchild gives me many memories to savor.
Here is one of my favorites as told in my age three voice.
Butchering Day
My Grandpa Byron passed away one year ago this weekend. I want to share this memoir poem and my painting of the family farm in his memory.
Today is a big day at the farm.
All of Daddy’s family is gathered for butchering.
The ladies stand around the table side by side
so close I can’t see.
Mommy lets me poke my head in
and I watch them shake salt and brown sugar
over fat pink hams.
I hear thick white paper crinkle
when they wrap the hams tight.
Great-Grandma’s sink is full of feathers
like a pillow burst open.
I squirm when I see chicken feet
sticking out over the edge.
But the pot on the stove smells wonderful—
we’ll have chicken and dumplings for dinner.
I follow Daddy and my uncles to the smokehouse
where they hang the hams.
The sun lights up spider webs
in the holes of the wooden walls.
I breathe in the crackling fire’s smoky scent.
Outside I tiptoe up to the circle of men
and Great-Grandpa sees me hiding behind Daddy’s legs.
When he asks me to come closer
his blue eyes smile behind thick glasses.
“Watch, little Sarah,” he tells me
as he holds a chicken very still
on the old tree stump.
Suddenly I hear a thud
and the chicken chases me
without a head!
Great-Grandpa chuckles loudly
as I run inside like a scared little mouse.
Great-Grandma gives me a snack
when I tug at her apron—
graham crackers and sweet homemade juice
with grapes inside the jar.
She brings out the box of old toys
that Grandpa played with as a boy.
I play Farm with the metal tractor and wagon
and I play Kitchen with silver dishes and marbles
and little spice tins she saves just for me.
Best of all I like the old picture book
and I snuggle on the flowered couch
to find the story of the fox and crow.
Later I wake up just enough
to feel Great-Grandma tucking me in
with one of her homemade quilts.
I smile inside when she kisses my hair.
Want more glimpses of my beloved southeast Missouri? Check out my latest book, Hidden Manna on a Country Road, which will inspire your prayer life with many prompts from nature. Get a free printable companion for the book HERE.
View a video tribute I made about the family farm HERE.
Butchering Day – a memory poem
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