Building Connection is a portion of a quote I read in David Brooks’ book “How to Know a Person,” and I’m pondering it with you today.
For Lent 2025, I’ll be writing new blog posts every day. I’m writing for only five unedited minutes on a quote of the day to deepen our faith in this Lenten season.
Day 14 of Lent 2025 – March 18
I purchased this book because my pastor referred to it several times in his sermons. It’s a well-written book based on research about how people crave more quality in relationships in our current culture, but don’t know how to get it.
I highlighted many passages in the Kindle version, and today I’m simply sharing one of them with you.
Building Connection in a Divided Culture
I wrote some posts about this topic back in the fall during election season. I had pondered what to say for months and thought it would be the right time to share my thoughts. I wanted to challenge fellow Christians to act like Christians rather than the world. I’m sharing an excerpt of one of my posts below.
Since kindergarten, I’ve had friends who are on the other side of the aisle from me. Friends with whom I do life, like sharing meals and attending events together. Some of these friendships have lasted for decades.
Lately, I’ve been asking myself why this is true because it certainly seems unique in our current culture.
I can’t speak to why my friends chose me, but I can say why I chose them:
- They make my life richer, more interesting, and far more beautiful.
- These friends stretch and expand my viewpoints.
- They show me how God is working in their lives, which is sometimes vastly different yet often quite similar to how he works in mine.
- My friends teach me how childhood experiences, religious backgrounds, family dynamics, and socioeconomic settings inform their decisions and shape mine too.
- They challenge my tendency toward black-and-white thinking and help me see the amazing nuances of God’s love and grace.
I don’t normally discuss politics with them, because I tend to say really stupid things that I deeply regret later. However, as I grow in wisdom, I try to practice curiosity rather than getting furious about stark differences of opinion.
I’ve realized that there is a low chance I will change their opinion, and vice versa. So I focus more on enjoying their company, celebrating their humanity, and as Paul said in 1 Cor. 9:22 NLT:
“Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some.”
The most important thing I talk about with them is faith. I also look for open windows to do this, rather than preaching at them. Faith is what can unite us, while politics tend to divide us.
Building Connection in Three Ways
I like how David Brooks, who converted from agnosticism to Christianity in his adult life (read his testimony here), simplifies building connection into three statements or attitudes:
- I respect you
- I’m curious about you
- We’re in this together
I need much growth in this area of building connections. However, I can look back and see how God has grown me in this area over the past few decades. That fact gives me hope that with God’s help, I can become more loving, compassionate, understanding, and accepting in the future. As I put these statements into practice when I meet people different from me, I will be more like Jesus, and that’s my goal.
Join me again tomorrow for another reflection on a different quote. I encourage you to reflect on a special gift God has given you and let me know about it in the comments.
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