Do you have a difficult person in your life? I found a scripture that has helped me realize it’s okay to take a break. This scripture set me free from feeling guilty, and I want to share it with you.
My Story of Taking a Break
Yesterday I took my 11-year-old daughter out for lunch. We were celebrating her birthday, and both of our stomachs were growling with hunger. Yet when I pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant, a difficult person got out of their car to head into the restaurant.
A teaching moment rose up in front of me. My daughter knows the whole hurtful story, and I was 110 percent sure she recognized this person. I took a moment to breathe deeply and realized the person hadn’t seen me. I had a choice. React or respond?
I told my daughter, “Let’s go visit the store first, then come back for lunch.” I said this calmly, trying to keep my angry emotions under control. Even though I knew she was super hungry, she said, “Mom, that’s a good idea.” Our stomachs kept growling as we perused two stores. But when we returned to the restaurant and the person was nowhere in sight, we could celebrate in peace.
We talked about the situation on the way home. I said, “I hope you know, I don’t want to hate this person for what they’ve done. But I think it’s OK to create space for a while, after a big hurt, to be able to heal and forgive without getting angry all over again.” I tried to teach my daughter, through honesty and authenticity, that it’s okay to not let difficult people have more space in our lives than necessary.
Why it's okay to take a break from a difficult person, according to Psalm 138:6. #troubledrelationship #selfcare Click To Tweet
The Scripture That Sets Us Free
Back in December 2018, I read this passage of scripture and have been meditating on it ever since. I’ve been praying that God would show me the right time and devotion in which to share it with you. Here it is:
Though the Lord is great, he cares for the humble,
but he keeps his distance from the proud.
Psalm 138:6 NLT
This verse has permanently changed my perspective. For the longest time, I thought that it was bad or un-Christian to put distance between myself and a difficult person. I wrongly believed that staying in hand-to-hand combat with someone, month after month, was just part and parcel of the suffering God says we will endure on this earth.
Because God himself keeps his distance from proud people, we can do the same. Let me clarify. God loves and cares for everyone he created, even people who don’t love him back. But God does not share his heart with those whose hearts are proud. He desires close relationship with open, humble, teachable people rather than ones whose hearts are hardened by pride. Though he is great and needs no relationship with us, he chooses to open up to us when we are humble rather than prideful.
For the longest time, I thought that it was bad or un-Christian to put distance between myself and a difficult person. #relationshiphelp #boundaries Click To Tweet
Taking a Break from a Difficult Person
We don’t have to share our inner hearts with difficult people. In fact, it’s probably wise that we don’t, because that will be like casting pearls before pigs. We must show difficult people kindness and respect, just like Jesus did. We are required to forgive them. But we aren’t required to open ourselves fully to them, especially when we need healing from big hurts.
That message is freeing to me. I need to stay humble, because God will show his heart to me if I do so. I can work on weeding pride out of my heart’s soil, and refuse to let prideful influences in. If that means taking a break for a while, whether from in-person meetings or on social media, I believe that’s OK. I want the distance to create space for forgiveness and peace, rather than letting bitterness build up.
What feelings does this Bible verse stir up in you? Do you need prayer to help you forgive a difficult person? Feel free to share your feedback in the comments below, or send me a prayer request here.
We don't have to share our inner hearts with difficult people. #relationshiphelp #boundaries Click To Tweet
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