A Time to Search

Today’s post about a time to search is based on chapter 10 of my book, Newness of Life.

There is a time to search, and a time to stop searching.

In my creative pursuits, I often stopped searching too soon.

Starting to Search

In high school and college, my creative talents flourished.  My days were immersed in writing, making art, and playing music, and I enjoyed getting swept up in the “flow” of creative energy, that sweet spot where time stands still and creation brings such pleasure.

Upon college graduation, I was shocked by the real world.  To make a living, I answered phones, filed papers, and ran errands for higher-ups.  Experienced people got the creative opportunities.  If I used my gifts at all, it was to typeset price tags or correct grammar mistakes on company letters.  A far cry from the beautiful drawings and poems I made in my classes.

As a young idealist, I felt disillusioned.  I stopped searching for opportunities to create because I felt confused and unappreciated.  When I became a mother, I had little time to create, other than writing in my journals.  I prayed frustrated prayers.  “God, you gave me these gifts.  When will I be able to use them?” I asked again and again.

Searching for Dreams

In 2010 I began blogging.  I wasn’t sure what to write about, but I couldn’t suppress the urge to create any longer.  I saw opportunity waiting on the Internet, and I seized the moment.

In 2013 I attended my first writers’ conference and joined a local writers guild.  Meeting with others who shared similar struggles and frustrations bolstered my confidence.

In 2016 I began blogging five days a week.  I finally finished my memoir after six years, and I entered the world of self-publishing.

What spurred my renewed search for creative opportunities?

Adversity.

In my overwhelm, the enemy snarled, “You’ll never realize your dreams. You’ll be stuck pushing papers the rest of your life. Too many bills to pay, too little time available to make this a priority.”

In my depression, the enemy mocked, “You’re a nobody. No one will want to read what you write.”

In my scarcity mindset, the enemy accused, “Your time is past.  Your opportunities are gone.  Success is reserved for someone else.”

Adversity tore my heart again and again.  I encountered difficult situations when my work became less and less satisfying, and higher-ups heaped negativity on my head.

But when a muscle is pushed to its limit, it regains strength when the tiny torn fibers are repaired.  Adversity strengthened my resolve to renew my search.

New Season of Searching

I am in a new season of life, a season of asking, seeking, and knocking.  A season of searching for new opportunities.  A season of making connections and learning new techniques.  No longer searching to overcome disillusion, frustration, and negativity.  No longer searching to overcome a lack of confidence.

In this new season, I’m finding an active, living peace.  Peace comes through joining in the work God is already doing.  I don’t have to manufacture my own opportunities; I simply look for where God is working, and join in. He doesn’t want me to search out of desperation any longer.  He wants me to search for him first.

If I search for God first, everything I need will be granted to me. (Matthew 6:33).

I am trusting him to teach me what’s worth searching for and which searches need stopping.

I am trusting him for newness of life in my season of asking, seeking, and knocking.

Questions for reflection: (please comment below)

What do you need to start searching for, and what is your motivation?

What search do you need to stop, so you can experience God’s peace in a new way?

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